Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
