Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize