They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
