Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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