I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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