Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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