My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
