I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
