My nipple is on Facebook.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
