did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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