They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
