a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
