why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
