Nicole vs. Life
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Never underestimate the power of titties
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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