when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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