Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
