He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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