Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
