this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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