I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
