Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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