have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
