There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
