i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
