I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
