I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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