so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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