Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
