i think my mom watched the whole time
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
