That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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