found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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