yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
