I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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