That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
A bitchslap is in order.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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