No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
