I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
