I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
