Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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