hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were destined to go to rehab together
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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