SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
where are my eyebrows?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
