how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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