dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
