i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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