you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
