she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
