Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize