do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
