are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
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But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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