dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
