When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son