Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs