brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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