I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize