No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
