I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
