New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
