oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
