Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize