heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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